4A-104. Response.
STATE OF NEW MEXICO
COUNTY OF SANTA FE
FIRST JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT
KEVIN W. STACK,
Petitioner,
v. No. D-101-DM-2023-00147
ROBERTA A. STACK,
Respondent.
RESPONSE
Respondent, Roberta A. Stack, responds to the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, and states:
1. I admit (agree with) the statements in the following paragraphs (list the paragraph
numbers below) of the Petition:
1; 2; 3; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9; 10; 12; 14; 15; 17
- I deny (disagree with) the statements in the following paragraphs (list the paragraph numbers below) of the Petition:
- I hereby contest the petition for Dissolution of Marriage filed by the Petitioner, Kevin William Stack. I do not agree with divorce and do not agree that this is the best resolution for our family. I do not believe the divorce will contribute to a solution and or provide stability and security for our children, nor will it benefit the emotional wellbeing of our family. In considering the emotional wellbeing of our children first, it is evident that the divorce would detrimental to the wellbeing of our children as they are already devastated by the discovery of our true reality and the uncertainty of our future in many ways. Financially it is not a feasible resolution and will prove to be further devastating to our financial futures. We’ve been a single income family for the entire duration of our marriage. The Petitioner has always exclusively been the provider of the family. Although I worked from home and at one time this did sustain my needs and anything I needed for the kids, businesses stopped thriving since the covid-19 pandemic in 2020 and I have since not been able to revive the business. I have always believed that we should remain together as a family and work towards solutions in offering stability to our children, and to each other as parents and spouses. I have been willing to try and resolve the issues in the marriage and to improve our situation. In March and April of 2022, we separated and I left the family home and went tostay with my mom. I had to provide her with reimbursement for food, shelter, necessities and propane during my stay, in the amount of $550. When the Petitioner and I agreed to stay together at the end of April I returned to the family home in May 2022. For the past year I thought that we had resolved our issues and had agreed to work together. However, the situation became more and more distressful, thus affecting my mental health. Consequently, I have sought therapy for myself and tried to obtain the participation of my family, but both the Petitioner and our children have refused to participate in counseling. I have also sought self-help parenting resources, online co-parenting courses, and recently I have obtained medications for anxiety and depression. I was and have been doing everything I could in attempt to save and heal our family but the Petitioner has frustrated such effort.. It is now evident that while I thought that we had resolved our issues for the past year, the Petitioner was planning diligently to file for divorce. I am willing to work towards resolving any issues that may have led to the filing of the divorce petition, with the goal of restoring the marital relationship. I believe that the issues that led to the filing of the divorce petition can be resolved through marital counselling. . in the event that the divorce petition is granted and a “Final Decree of the Dissolution of Marriage” is eminent, I ask that it be on the grounds of irreconcilable differences due to financial infidelity and abuse resulting in emotional and mental distress.
- Visitations: Antoinette D. Curran, the maternal grandmother to our children, has consistently had regular visitations with our children since they were born. They have always had the liberty to come and go with her as they have needed or wanted to, never a question. Antoinette has had regular visitations with our children every weekend as well as all holidays. As a repercussion of this divorce, I fear that Antoinette’s time and freedom with the children will be imposed upon. Antoinette does provide significantly for our children in the way of stability, necessities, financial needs, emotional support, guidance, and leads them consistently in faith. Antoinette is a constant for our children, as they are for her and through our hard times as a couple, Antoinette has been the stability our kids counted on. My children and their grandmother fear that this time spent together will be reduced and or imposed upon. in light of the above and in the best interests of our children , I ask the court to ensure that their time spent with their grandmother is as it has always been.
- I ask that the Petitioner should be ordered to contribute to the support and maintenance of our children, pursuant to the New Mexico Child Support Guidelines. I also pray for an immediate Temporary Order for child support and spousal support. I fear for the future and wonder often how I will be able to provide financially for our children and myself; as I have been a stay-at-home mother caring for my children fulltime for 21+ years and the last job I had was 17 years ago. My work experience is outdated and I have no formal education. . Upon starting our family, I became a mother fulltime; when the Petitioner and I got married, and throughout the years together we agreed this would be the best for our children. I did so naively, with good intentions only to focus on our children and home. I did so not realizing how those choices would impact my future, especially in the event that a divorce would happen. I did not ever anticipate divorce and consider this to be such a vindictive notion.
Most recently I have secured employment with Amazon, graveyard hours 3am – 7am, six days a week, 24 hours at best. I also do what I can to take any extra shifts available as long as it does not interfere with the needs of our children. I have also applied for many other jobs and enrolled into a GED program to prepare for my test at the end of April. I am also working to finish my Herbalism Certificate but lack funds to continue to pay for my tuition currently. Now that I am working, I worry about how my absence in the home and my lack of availability will be detrimental to my children’s day to day. . Due to the current situation between the Petitioner and I; and because of my employment, although I manage, it has become very difficult to maintain and care for the regular routines that our farm and home demand. My primary focus is and has always been our children and their needs. I have also had to start the process of dissolving my businesses as they were not doing so well , but did provide just a little extra income that usually went directly back into the businesses and or farm. I have also applied for food stamps, pending approval. I have to report the Petitioner’s income and this has hindered the process of approval. I have since provided proof of the divorce to obtain appropriate approval.
- Prior to being served with the divorce petition, I was not in any way involved in making financial decisions, paying bills, and was not aware of the magnitude of the debt that the Petitioner has incurred. The Petitioner was and has always been responsible for the finances, financial decision making, and accounting of our family. Even though I believe the Petitioner was doing the best he could, the details were never communicated to me even though I asked many times. I was naive in trusting him with everything. Until now, I had no idea the amount of debt that we had incurred and it was not until I started researching for the purpose of responding to this lawsuit, that I learned the magnitude of the financial conundrum that we do face. I dispute my responsibility to the debts incurred by the Petitioner in the course of our marriage as I was not knowledgeable of any of it. I have become aware now of how this has hindered my credit and or ability to secure credit in the future. My responsibility has always been with a direct focus on our children, the home, and our farm, fulltime.
Respondent Roberta A. Stack, asks that the court:
- Enter that I contest the divorce petition filed by the Petitioner as I do not believe that it is in the best interest of our family and it is especially not in the best interest of our children. This also has impacted our pets, extended family, specifically my parents and my sister; it deconstructs the entire family structure. Morally and spiritually, divorce was not an option I ever wanted to consider. Emotionally and mentally speaking I fear the repercussions this divorce will impose- tremendous long-lasting burdens on our children. As they all have expressed their personal fears directly with me. Financially, I cannot rationalize how our kids and I will be sustained throughout this process, but also thereafter. We have and are currently experiencing a lot of financial burdens. This uncertainty causes a lot of fear for me as a mother, potentially now a single mother;
- To acknowledge that I have been a stay-at-home mother caring for our children fulltime. I also work fulltime from the home and am struggling to keep the businesses, (Moon Phases Farm and Ambrosia Rose Alchemy) in which I have created afloat. Now I fear I have to work to dissolve them too because of the expenses they impose. I spend all of my time caring for our children, our home, and our farm. A little over a year ago in April or May 2022, the Petitioner removed the joint income, his payroll, from being deposited into our joint account. Please acknowledge that I have not had access to the family income or any other community assets ever since;
- Confirm any separate property and any separate debts of the parties;
- Equitably divide any community property and community debts of the parties;
- enter an order for spousal support, as deemed appropriate;
enter an order for the Petitioner to provide for the custody, support, and maintenance of the children.
- Enter an order requiring that, following the filing of our joint tax return for the current year, I be given the entirety of this year’s income tax refund to cover current medical costs, settle past-due bills, and fix my car. Enter an order requiring the Petitioner to pay me the amount of $550 in reimbursement for the payment I made to Antoinette Curran during our brief separation (6-7 weeks) in March–April 2022. I had to pay to stay with my parents and contribute to the costs we had imposed while living there. I used the income tax money from our 2017 return that the Petitioner gave me (half of $600) to pay Antoinette Curran. In order to provide for our family’s requirements during this time, such as propane, food, groceries, gas for my car, and other personal needs, I also sold my personal belongings and work supplies (my copper alembic still and other personal items).
- Enter an order requiring that the Petitioner maintains the family medical insurance and my car insurance, without interruptions.
- As I work to protect the interests of my children and maintain their normalcy as much as possible, please consider the role of the children’s grandmother, Antoinette Curran in the children’s lives. I ask that she is allowed to maintain her relationship with our children as she always has without interference from either parent. I ask that our children are considered in these choices and do as they have wanted, as they always have in their lives.
- Should this divorce become final, I ask for my name to be restored to my maiden name of
Roberta Antoinette Curran; and
- If the Petitioner will not withdraw this lawsuit and even though our children and I truly do not want to see either one of us leave our family homeI respectfully ask for the court to enter an order requiring the Petitioner to leave the family home and obtain alternate living arrangements throughout the divorce proceedings. In doing so, I ask the court to consider the emotional distress this situation has already caused us and will further cause. In the past year, I have struggled immensely both mentally and emotionally and so have our children since learning about this lawsuit and since being served, everything has become far more difficult and much more uncertain. I was blindsided by this divorce lawsuit, and I am going through so much more than I can process, my stamina has diminished. More than anything, I see the stress brought upon our children by watching our discord play out and I know this is obviously very difficult for them. I am just trying to offer them the support they need currently. We all have endured a lot of emotional distress and great financial burdens for quite some time; the kids are imposed upon by our indifferences far too often. I have offered all other solutions and never thought I would have to consider this the reality for our family. The Petitioner on the other hand offers only resistance, and refuses to work with me in a productive fashion. This is not a productive solution and goes against everything morally we have agreed upon as a married couple. I am surprised with the actions of the Petitioner, as my husband and as the father of our children as it causes great confusion and a deep sadness.
At this time, I believe that me leaving the family home is not a financially feasible option for the children or myself as a fulltime mother.. Until recently, my time has always been spent investing into our home, farm, and family; my newly obtained job and schedule still allows me flexibility to be available to care for our children and to fulfill the need to be present for our children. I also run our farm and I run my healing business from our home. One of our children is currently enrolled in online distance learning from home until next school year in the fall. As the future of our family remains uncertain, I do not want to impose further on our children and realize the many burdens I may take on in the Petitioner’s absence; but since becoming knowledgeable of this divorce, and being forced into this process, I just cannot endure the current living situation further. It all has taken a toll on my mental, spiritual, emotional, and financial health and I am struggling to navigate this grief with our children. I did not want this divorce and the stress that has been imposed upon our children by the Petitioner and I is not something I can continue to impose. If we have to go forward with this process, I feel I can no longer find the will to continue to reside in such a contentious living environment with the Petitioner. I do respectfully ask the court to carefully consider this request and acknowledge the need for this at this time, and I truly do not want to impose further financial hardships and this weight is heavy on me. I am and always have been solely responsible as a mother for the emotional wellbeing of our children and it is my job to offer them the best situation possible, and now I have to give them support and offer stability. Our discord has never been the normal for us. Before finances, I feel the emotional wellbeing of our children, myself, and the Petitioner should be considered first. As I have pleaded with the Petitioner insisting on agreeing to some kind of reasonable solution, he has refused to work with me to come to an agreement. Currently the Petitioner and I do not speak and when we do, we cannot seem to partake in civil productive conversations. It is very contentious and uncomfortable for us both, for our pets, and especially for our children-including our adult child who is currently residing in Seattle, WA and;
L. Provide for such other and further relief as the Court may deem just and proper.
Submitted by:
________________________________________
Roberta A. Stack
119 Shenandoah Trail
Santa Fe, New Mexico 87508
505-316-8507
VERIFICATION OF SERVICE
I affirm under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of New Mexico that on
__________________________________ (date), I (check the applicable item below and fill in all information)
[X] mailed a copy of this response by United States mail, postage prepaid, to:
Mr. Kevin W. Stack
119 Shenandoah Trail
Santa Fe, NM 87507
and;
[X] hand delivered a copy of this response to Kevin W. Stack, petitioner.
_______________________________________
Signature of person who made service
_______________________________________
Date of signature
[Approved by Supreme Court Order No. 13-8300-010, effective for all pleadings and papers filed
on or after May 31, 2013, in all cases pending or filed on or after May 31, 2013; as amended by
Supreme Court Order No. 14-8300-011, effective for all pleadings and papers filed on or after
December 31, 2014, in all cases filed or pending on or after December 31, 2014.]
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