IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA
IN AND FOR THE COUNTY OF OBISPO
JENNA CHALEE HANDY §
Petitioner, §
§
v. § Case No. 16FL-0390
§
DOMINIC LAWRENCE HANDY §
Respondent. §
RESPONDENT’S OPPOSITION TO PETITIONER’S REQUEST FOR ORDER
NOW COMES Dominic Handy, Respondent, and files this Opposition to Petitioner’s Request
for Order, and hereby avers as follows:
1. In 2017, this Court issued an order granting Petitioner and Respondent 50/50 custody of
each of the Minor Children. That order has been in full force and effect
2. On 08/11/2022, Petitioner filed a Request for Order, in which she requested this Court to
grant her an order in which both parties would have joint legal custody of the each of the
Minor Children; both parties would have joint physical custody of Marlie Chalee Handy
(D.O.B. 10/11/2006); and Petitioner would have sole physical custody of Carson
Lawrence Handy (D.O.B. 10/5/2007).
3. In an initial custody determination, the trial court has "the widest discretion to choose a
parenting plan that is in the best interest of the child." (Fam. Code, § 3040, subd. (b).) It
must look to all the circumstances bearing on the best interest of the minor child.
(Burchard v. Garay (1986) 42 Cal.3d 531, 534 [229 Cal. Rptr. 800, 724 P.2d 486, 62
A.L.R.4th 237].)
4. Family Code section 3011 lists specific factors, "among others," that the trial court must
consider in determining the "best interest" of the child in a proceeding to determine
custody and visitation: "(a) The health, safety, and welfare of the child. [¶] (b) Any
history of abuse by one parent against the child or against the other parent…. [¶] (c) The
nature and amount of contact with both parents."
5. Once the trial court has entered a final or permanent custody order reflecting that a
particular custodial arrangement is in the best interest of the child, "the paramount need
for continuity and stability in custody arrangements—and the harm that may result from
disruption of established patterns of care and emotional bonds with the primary
caretaker—weigh heavily in favor of maintaining" that custody arrangement. (Burgess,
supra, 13 Cal.4th at pp. 32-33, 51 Cal.Rptr.2d 444, 913 P.2d 473.)
6. In recognition of this policy concern, we have articulated a variation on the best interest
standard, known as the changed circumstance rule, that the trial court must apply when a
parent seeks modification of a final judicial custody determination. (Montenegro,
supra, 26 Cal.4th at p. 256, 109 Cal.Rptr.2d 575, 27 P.3d 289, relying on Burchard v.
Garay (1986) 42 Cal.3d 531, 535, 229 Cal.Rptr. 800, 724 P.2d 486.)
7. Under the changed circumstance rule, custody modification is appropriate only if the
parent seeking modification demonstrates "a significant change of circumstances"
indicating that a different custody arrangement would be in the child’s best interest.
(Ibid.) Not only does this serve to protect the weighty interest in stable custody
arrangements, but it also fosters judicial economy. (Ibid.)
8. The burden of proof rests on Petitioner to demonstrate a change of circumstances that
warrants modification of the existing custody order to the terms she prays for. The burden
of proof also rests on her to demonstrate that it would be in the best interests of the Minor
Children to modify the existing order to the terms she prays for.
9. Petitioner has not demonstrated any change of circumstances that warrants the
modification of the existing custody order. Further, she has not demonstrated which
interests of the Minor Children will be protected by the order that she requests this Court
to issue.
10. Currently, the parties have equal parenting rights as per the order signed in January 2017.
The Request for Order filed by Petitioner seeks to limit Respondent’s parental rights,
while giving Petitioner more parental rights at the same time.
11. It would be untenable to limit Respondent’s existing parental rights as per the order
issued in January 2017 without a demonstration by Petitioner that there is a change of
circumstances that warrants granting of her prayers and that it would be in the interests of
the Minor Children to grant her Request for Order.
REASONS WHEREFORE, PREMISES CONSIDERED, Respondent respectfully requests this
Honorable Court to DENY Petitioner’s Request for Order.
Dated this ____ day of August, 2022.
Respectfully Submitted,
___________________________________
Dominic Lawrence Handy,
Respondent in pro per
DECLARATION OF DOMINIC LAWRENCE HANDY IN SUPPORT OF OPPOSITION
TO PETITIONER’S REQUEST FOR ORDER
I, Dominic Lawrence Handy, do hereby declare under penalty of perjury as follows:
1. I am a law-abiding male adult citizen of sound mind and a resident of the County of
Obispo.
2. Jenna Handy and I Had our first child together, Marlie Handy on October 11, 2006. One
year later we had our second child, Carson Handy on October 5, 2007.
3. We dated on and off from 2006 to 2015. In 2016 we married. Within months of being
married, it was found out that Jenna was having an affair with her boss. We started the
process of divorce and custody of the children.
4. Our divorce was finalized on January 30, 2017. When this all happens Jenna disappeared
for two months leaving me with the kids.
5. When she finally moved in with a friend of hers the kids started to go over and visit and
we split time between our houses.
6. Jenna was drinking heavily during this time. I can still remember receiving a call from
our daughter Marlie. She was about 10yrs old at the time. She had locked herself in the
bathroom at her mom’s friend’s house. She was crying and asking me to come and pick
her up. Her mom was in the back under the influence banging on the door screaming at
Marlie that I her father didn’t love her. Marlie was so upset and so was I.
7. When we were going through custody proceedings during our divorce I made it a point
that if Jenna was wanting and willing to agree to 50/50 custody that I would agree to that
as well. At the time I overlooked how bad some of her behaviors were and I am now
asking that going forward we address the concerns and possibly work together with
seeking professional help.
8. We were both awarded 50-50 custody of both Marlie and Carson Handy. We, along with
our attorneys made agreements for holidays, vacations, wardrobes, medical, etc.
9. Since 2017 I have made it a point to be present in my kids’ lives as much as possible. I
either Coached or assisted the coaches For almost every year that Carson played Little
League baseball. Whether it was legally on my time or not I, showed up at every practice
and game.
10. Looking back on the years very rarely did Jenna Handy ever show up to any sporting
event. If she did it would be with a group of her friends that would leave the field
multiple times during the game to go back and forth in the parking lot and smoke
cigarettes.
11. This would be the same situation with our daughter Marlie. I didn’t ever coach Marlie’s
basketball teams but I would occasionally show up at practices to help out and I have
made almost every game throughout the years. Again, very rarely does Jenna Handy ever
attend.
12. We agreed on a holiday schedule. It was a rotating schedule for odd and even years.
Since 2016 Jenna has given up every holiday that was hers. The kids spent every
Thanksgiving with me along with every Christmas week.
13. Of course, I loved the fact that I got to spend these holidays with them. I would make it a
point on Thanksgiving that we would spend it with a lot of family members so that they
could have memories.
14. Every Christmas I would plan a trip so that we could go to the snow and snowboard and
ski. Over the years I’ve taken them to Washington DC, Park City Utah, Mount
Charleston Nevada, big bear California, Lake Tahoe California, Mesa Arizona along with
a few others that I’m probably not listing.
15. My point is it has always been important for me for them to have experiences and
opportunities that most families share together. I know it was always hard on them to
grow up in split homes. I saw that and it broke my heart when they were little. From that
point, I always worked extra or did whatever I had to do so that I could afford to take
them on trips.
16. Over the years their mom took them on one camping trip with one of her boyfriends. That
is about the only memory that they have traveling with their mom outside of occasionally
driving to Bakersfield to visit her mom and sister.
17. In our original court documents we both agreed to maintain separate wardrobes. I have
consistently purchased a new wardrobe for school every year along with multiple
shopping trips in between as the kids have grown. Over the years the kids have expressed
to me that
18. their mom didn’t do any shopping for them on a regular basis. I was allowing them to
take the clothing that I had purchased back and forth between our homes.
19. For the last couple of years, Carson in particular has taken the wardrobe that I purchased
to his mom’s house without returning with any clothes. A couple of times in particular I
had to buy a whole new wardrobe within two weeks. This is not cheap as we all know
how much clothes and shoes can cost.
20. I would reach out to Jenna regarding the clothes that I purchased and asked her to send
them back. She would send me a bag of dirty clothes that weren’t even mine. They would
be too small and outdated.
21. With that said, I started to reinforce our court order and requested that the kids leave their
wardrobe at my house so that when they return they have clothes to wear. Carson in
particular did not like this. Every week he wants to pack up five different bags and take
stuff from my house to his mom’s. When I started going through his bags we began
having issues with him wanting to return to my house.
22. This year, both of my parents who are the kid’s Grandparents both took the kid’s school
clothes shopping prior to starting their sophomore and junior year at AG high. All of the
clothes that my parents purchased were given to Jenna because the kids had told my
parents that their mom again did not buy any school clothes for this year.
23. Since then I found out that Jenna only spent $28 on Marlie prior to her first day of school.
I bring this up because my daughter called me the night before her first day and asked if
she could come to my house to get a pair of jeans. I asked her if her mom had purchased
any school clothes and she said no that Nana and Papa did. She said her mom sent her
friend Savannah to take Marlie into Slo to find some jeans the day before school started.
24. Because of Marlie‘s height, it’s hard to find clothes that fit her. I usually have to order
her clothes online. With online shopping, it has to be done in advance.
25. Marlie’s mom finally ordered her a pair of jeans the night before school started. They
didn’t arrive in time for her first day. This is the kind of stuff that has been consistent
with Jenna’s behavior throughout the years. My mom also purchased all of their school
supplies.
26. Over the years I have taken him to almost every single Doctor appointment. Whether it’s
dental or medical I take time off of work to take both kids. When the kids have
appointments on their mom’s schedule she has her friends take them. I try to make most
of their appointments on my time so that a parent is present with the doctor.
27. This is been a huge burden but I have always sacrificed my time to be there for them. I
made both kids’ braces appointments which Marlie has braces and will be finished by the
end of this year. I set up and took Carson to his braces appointment, received the entire
treatment plan and made his trays to start Invisalign.
28. However, I have put Carson‘s treatment on hold because of the issues I have been
experiencing with him. He has been very defiant over the last few months and I’m
grateful for anything that I do for him. I have explained to him multiple times that braces
are not a medical need/necessity but they are cosmetic. I would love to put braces on
Carson. I’ve already spent $700 out of pocket to have his DSD treatment plan created. I
made the decision to put it on hold after I’ve had many conversations with Carson about
his behavior.
29. In May of this year, I enrolled Carson for counseling at our church, New Life Center.
Carson has had a total of 10 visits since then. However, his counselor is an intern and not
licensed. I thought initially that it would be good for Carson to at least get in to be able to
talk to someone and maybe work through some of his issues.
30. Carson has continuously expressed to both my parents, sister, and myself that counseling
is stupid. That she sits there and plays games with him. He has expressed that she’s not
very smart and he gets things over on her. I started looking into it and I agree with
Carson.
31. I purchased Carson a car two years ago. It’s a classic car that we have been working on
together over the years. It’s worth between $10,000-$15,000.
32. I put the time and effort into both of my children equally and I will never stop doing that.
Carson continues to act out and does not appreciate anything that has been done for him.
It’s not all about finances and that is not the reason why I bring these up. I put in mini
hours with extracurricular activities to bond with both of them.
33. Right now I’m not sure what Carson is going through but I do know that we need to
continue to seek a professional therapist.
34. I am asking the court to require a professional therapist for the next six months for
Carson Handy, at the expense of 50-50 between me and his mom. During this time I
asked the court to keep our custody order in place at 50-50.
35. I am also asking that both myself and Jenna Handy also receive professional therapy for
parenting. I ask for the same 50-50 custody stays in order for Marlie Handy as well. I am
willing to do whatever it takes to continue to help parent and be present in both of my
children’s lives. I hope that the court will take this strongly into consideration.
36. Jenna had a random man living on her couch for two weeks. She told the kids it was just
a friend. It makes my daughter feel uncomfortable and not safe in her own home. She
said multiple times she’s come out of the shower in a towel and he’s standing outside of
the door. She also said the guy was eating all of their food and that they were hungry.
The kids called my mom to bring over lunch and groceries.
37. After two weeks I spoke up for Marlie and Jenna told me to stay out of her business.
After that Jenna’s friend Savanah reached out to Marlie. Marlie expressed her concerns
with the situation to Savanna. Apparently Savanna talked to Jenna about the living
situation and Jenna agreed to have the man leave. I know that we all live different lives
and I’m not trying to control Jenna’s but at what point does this behavior that affects the
kids stop. This is another reason I am asking for Jenna to enroll in some type of
parenting or counseling..
38. I am also asking the courts to mandate all communication between myself and Jenna
Handy be via email. Over the last few years, I have at times allowed phone calls and texts
because of Jenna’s requests to do so. She calls and screams and yells I end up having to
hang up on her. She’ll then call back crying and apologizing. This type of behavior is not
appropriate and it is very stressful to receive calls from her.
39. I always respond to other emails in a timely manner and I think both of us should do the
same. I’d also like to add that all emails shall receive a response within 24hrs.
40. Jenna has told me that she will not be paying for Carson’s counseling through the church
that we previously agreed upon. He missed two appointments that were scheduled in
advance that she no called, no show too, and didn’t give the required notice timeframe to
schedule. I was charged for both of those as well. I am also asking that she reimburses me
for half of the bills. I have attached her statement along with the bills.
41. Jenna has called and asked and sometimes demanded money over the years. At times I
have felt bad because I know if I don’t give it that the kids will go without. My kids have
both come home multiple times stating that they don’t have food at home. I and my mom
have both brought them groceries on multiple occasions. I know myself and my family
love the kids and will do whatever is needed for them.
42. The kids both say that their mom leaves them at home to go to the bars and constantly
smokes vapes and cigarettes. On a daily basis, she stops at the store to buy “tall cans” that
my kids have described which is an oversized beer that she drinks on a regular basis.
43. When it comes to Carson he has no rules at her house. He roams free with kids and adults
that are older than him. He was online gaming and hanging out with a 21yr old which is
completely inappropriate. He also leaves on a regular basis with his friend that is 17 that
dropped out of high school. His mom doesn’t stick to any of his punishments so of
course, a kid at his age wants to run free.
44. Jenna makes endless broken promises to the kids. Over the last three years, she agreed
that I would purchase a vehicle for Carson and that when the time comes she would gift
Marlie her car. Now that we are here and she’s a month away from getting her license she
has now changed her mind and is not giving Marlie a car.
45. I have been asking her for the past year what her plan is and I get no response. I have
been asked if she can come up with an amount that she can help out with so that we can
purchase her a vehicle. She has given many different amounts over the years, but it hasn’t
been until August 23, 2022, that she wrote me an email and said that she will not
contribute to Marlie getting a vehicle. That it is my sole responsibility and if she ever has
extra money she’ll help out in the future. Which with her history that to me means she’s
not going to do anything.
46. She sent me the following message, “About Marlie’s car- Unfortunately, I don’t have it. I
wish I did. I wish I could buy Marlie a brand new car because she’s a good girl and she
deserves it but I just don’t have the money like you do. If you end up buying her a car,
whenever I have extra money to put towards that I’ll send it to you. If you decide not to
move forward then so be it but I just can’t commit to that right now.”
I pray to this Court to DENY Petitioner’s Request for Order and GRANT all of Respondent’s
prayers in his Opposition to Request for Order and this Declaration.
Dated this ____ day of August, 2022.
Respectfully Submitted,
___________________________________
Dominic Lawrence Handy,
Respondent in pro per
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