XXX
[ENTER ADDRESS]
[Date]
Hon. [ENTER NAME]
[ENTER ADDRESS]
RE: CASE NO. [ENTER CASE NUMBER]
Respectfully,
I, XXX, submit this personal statement to the court. The purpose of this letter is to explain the circumstances that led to the filing of the referenced case, which circumstances prove that my marriage with my ex irretrievably broke down. Accordingly, your Honor, please note that this letter’s object seeks to paint a clear and objective picture of the events that led to the breaking down of our marriage.
BACKGROUND:
Meeting and Marrying the Claimant.
On or about July XXX, I met my Ex in Japan while travelling the country. I then went to Korea to visit her, and we travelled around Korea together. After a couple of weeks, I returned to the UK and invited her to come and visit me. At that time, I was living at my grandmother’s house, so before she arrived, I rented an apartment so we could stay together in September of XXX. Contrary to my ex’s assertions, she had a good relationship with my family. Notably, when we were moving out, my auntie was going to give us everything we needed for the kitchen, and my grandmother welcomed her into our family and gave her many gifts.
I paid for all expenses for the apartment, and she only brought some food here and there. This put a financial strain on me which led to me having to take out an IVA. At that time, I was excited and glad to have finally found the love of my life. Therefore, I was determined to sacrifice everything and give my best to my ex-wife.
In January 2018, she told me she was pregnant. At the time, she did not want to keep the baby and she asked me to take her to an abortion clinic. Due to the deep love I had for her, I could hardly imagine the thought of doing away with our first child. Accordingly, I begged her no to get the abortion as my family are all Catholic and would not approve of it. She told me the only way she would keep the baby was if we got married. I gladly agreed to marry her and soon after, we told her parents.
At the end of February, she returned to Korea to help with the planning for the wedding. At this time, it was only her mother who knew that she was pregnant because she was too scared of her father’s reaction if he found out.
Moving to Korea.
On or about March XXX, I flew to Korea to meet her parents for the first time. I was excited that I was finally getting married to the lady I loved dearly. I then returned to England before returning to Korea to get married on May XXX. After the honeymoon, I returned to XXX where I began to look for a home for us to live in. We looked at over thirty (30) different properties, and on August XXX, we started the process to buy a house. Up until our son was born, we planned to live in England. Notably, my Ex always said to me that she wanted our child to grow up in England and get an English education. She always said she did not like the Korean education system and did not want our son studying till midnight every day and miss his childhood. Accordingly, my family and friends were all preparing for our return to England.
On or about September XXX, I changed my flight to Korea from the 14th to the 11th, because my ex-wife began experiencing labour. I did want to risk not being able to see my childbirth. The change of dates cost me an extra £350. A rush of excitement filled me as I was anxious to witness and see the birth of our child. I managed to arrive the night before she gave birth.
On September XXX, our son Alexander was born. These were one of the best moments of my life. We stayed at an after-care hospital for two (2) weeks so she could recover after giving birth. Unfortunately, my son had some problems with his lungs and had to be transferred to Samsung hospital in Masan where he stayed for six (6) days. At that time, my ex started showing suspicious signs. She only when to see Alexander two times! Notably, she went after I told her that she had to go, or I was going to start a big argument in front of her parents. That notwithstanding, I went to the hospital every day to see him.
Remaining in Korea.
After the baby went to the hospital, my Ex told me she did not want to move to XXX anymore and that she wanted to live close to her parents because her dad we sick and could die soon. Her friend also told me the same. I felt dispirited because I had begun planning about our life in XXX. Besides, my Ex herself had earlier stated that she intended Alexander to live and study in England. Nevertheless, I tried to respect her opinion. I asked her how I could live in Korea, yet I could not speak Korean and knew nothing about Korean culture at the time. She said she would find me a job.
On the September XXX, Alexander came back to the after-care hospital where the nurses looked after him most of the day and all night so that my Ex could rest. After a couple of days, we moved to an after-care centre where nurses looked after the baby and only called my ex for feeding. It is worth noting that my ex gives false allegations that she was always busy looking after the baby. In reality, we travelled around Changwon together while the nurses looked after the baby. She looked for jobs for me because I could not search Korean jobs sites myself. We looked for jobs together and it did not take long since there are a few places in Changwon that cook the sort of food that I was skilled in. Luckily, she found the place XXX,, which was a new restaurant.
I always tried to be the perfect father and husband to my wife and son. On September 26th, we went to the lotte outlet together without the baby. We went to outlet again without the baby on September 30th. On September 6th, I went for lunch at the restaurant with her and her family, without the baby. On October5th, we left the aftercare centre and moved in with her parents.
Between October 8th to 13th, I worked at the restaurant for a trial. I got on well with everyone and decided to take a job there. I had already resigned to the fact that our plans of staying in England would not work.
On October XXX, Murry Hay Solicitors completed the searches required for the purchase of the house we were buying in England. At which point I decided to give it a go in Korea. On October 14th, I flew back to XXX as I had already paid for the return flight due to the fact we planned to return to XXX after the baby was born. At this time, I worked at my job in England at Mallory court hotel then flew back to Korea on November 5th. Soon thereafter, on November 10th, I started work at the restaurant in XXX. Initially, everything was going okay at first but then people started to leave, and the language barrier became a big problem and made it difficult to work there.
Problems start to break out.
On December 2, 2018, I stopped working in the restaurant in XXX. My ex stated that the reason for me leaving the restaurant was because I argued with the staff there, which is not true. My ex’s allegation really hurt me. I did not expect that from someone I loved and trusted wholly. The reality is that I was unable to talk with all the staff there, and while they understood that I could not speak Korean, they tried their best to help me. I also tried to learn as much as I could although it was uncomfortable to me. It follows; when I left the restaurant, I still had a good relationship with all the staff. They even brought a Korean grammar book to help me learn Korean. I still talk with some of the staff from there and meet some of them.
It then hit me hard that we had made a bad decision to remain in Korea. I spoke to my ex about it and she said she would find me work. On December 10th, I started work at the kindergarten. I asked my Ex-wife whether it was okay if I used her name since I was working illegally. Korea was not my country so if someone found out I might have been deported. I was extremely hurt when she denied my request. I had already sacrificed a lot for her, yet I could not see the same sacrifice from her side. She told me the owner of the kindergarten told her he knows places that have done the same thing in the past, so I do not worry too much about it.
On December 30th, I flew to XXX to have my car returned and bring clothes back to Korea as I didn’t have a lot in Korea since I was never prepared for life in Korea. I returned on January 5, XXX, which was the kindergarten’s winter vacation week. Upon my return, I spoke to my ex about going back to university so I could get my Bachelor’s degree and applied for CUFS university in Korea, which I started in March XX..
I also raised conercns to my Ex that I did not like the fact we were living at her parent’s house and that I wanted to get our place. Accordingly, she asked her parents if we could borrow money to get a place, which they agreed. I still do not know what she said to them since I do not understand Korean. In my understanding, I knew her parents gave us money to rent an apartment, and that we never had a deadline to refund the money. Once in our apartment, I bought all the furniture with no help from my wife, it was all money I earned. Although our relationship had issues then, I was still determined to provide for my family and put them first in my mind.
Problems and hardships I faced in the marriage.
May 5, XXX was our wedding anniversary. I went out and brought a present and when I got home, in front of her parent, my ex said she forgot and laughed. Her statement and behaviour hit me hard. I felt dejected. All along, I had been trying to show love and hope in out marriage yet she was so uninterested that she forgot our wedding anniversary. Nevertheless, I tried to understand.
My ex asked me to start doing private classes so we can bring in more money. I agreed to her request thinking I was doing what was best for my family. Besides, her request gave me some hopes that she meant well for our marriage, and wanted the best for us. Notably, I did not have any vacation or time to rest in a 6 or 7 days a week that year. After working for one year without taking any vacation and trying to adjust to a different culture, I became sick from stress and on the December 25th (Christmas day), a special holiday in my culture, my Ex left me alone to go have lunch with people I did not know. That was one of the silliest decisions she has ever made. She later shares pictures to show what a good time she had while her husband was unable to eat or see properly. I was left helpless, stressed, hurt and broken. I could never imagine that I would get such treatment from the one I loved and sacrificed my life for. I missed work and had to visit the hospital several times.
After about a week or so I got better, and told my Ex at this point, she needed to find a job because I did not want to put myself in the same position ever again. Accordingly, she applied for a job.
What I did to save the Marriage.
On March XXX, my ex started her new job at GE. At that time, just as Korea was going into lockdown, the kindergarten I was working at closed for 2 months. The kindergarten’s closure gave me ample time to look after Alexander. I also drove my ex to and from work most days because she did not have the confidence to drive. Besides, I tried to start my own business and do some hobbies to keep myself busy. I also informed my ex that I would not return to work until I finished university and that I would still keep my private classes so I could help with bills. Interestingly, she refused my suggestion.
After she got a job, I decided to use the opportunity to show her how much I cared for her. Besides driving her to and from work, and taking care of Alexander, I helped her with her English E-mails. Things began getting worse when at the start, she only had had meeting once a week in the evenings, but after a while it became three (3) nights a week for 1-2 hours. In her absence, I would look after Alexander by myself and put him to bed. Her meetings always started between 8pm and 9pm. Some nights I would arrive home after class at 8pm and have to look after my son without having time to eat. I never complained to her about this. However, it hurt me greatly. I knew she had work to do but she never showed me any appreciation.
On our second wedding anniversary, after two years of marriage, my Ex-wife never bought anything or did anything for our us. Notably, she also never did anything for my birthdays. She only asked that I work as much as possible. Sometimes, I ended up leaving the home at 6:20 am and not getting home until almost 7p.m. Therefore, I hoped she would not forget our second anniversary, but she did, and we had a big argument. We did not speak properly for a week. When I asked her why she did not want to spend money on our anniversary, she said we lacked money. This was a lie because we had plenty of money. Notably, we did not pay rent and I made 3.5 million or more before she started work, and afterwards, we made over 7 million together. Consequently, we argued a lot about money and why we were still together. After this week, we kept argued continually and started to separate.
I returned to work at the kindergarten. This was the first time I met 주영. I did not talk to her at first but just gave her the information she needed to do her job. I was busy doing my work, so I had no time to speak to the new teacher and I did not care what she had to say. Besides, I thought she was just a kid. After a couple of weeks, she asked me whether I knew anyone who did private tutoring because her sister was looking for an English tutor. I told her I did tutoring and gave her my number. After that, I started to tutor her sister.
On June, my ex and I did not talk much in person and I started taking Alexander out alone. Notably, between 4th and 8th July XXX I took Alexander out alone while my Ex was at home. In July, we had an even bigger argument on my birthday 28th July. On that day, I wanted to go out and celebrate, but she said we lacked the money. She was so unreasonable and nonsensical. We both did not pay rent since we made about 7 million. I could not understand why she did not want to buy anything for my birthday. I could also not go to the aquarium shop because she did not like the place. Surely, what wife on earth tells her husband he cannot go to the aquarium shop on his birthday even though she did not want to buy anything! I was reaching my breaking point.
In July I started to talk with one of the new teachers whose name was Gina. She was divorced and lived with her daughter. At this time, I had already started to take Alexander out by myself. I asked Gina if she would like to meet for lunch and then our kids could play together, which she agreed and invited 주영 to come along. I was talking to 주영 at this time, so it was uncomfortable for me when I found out she invited her.
On August 9th, I met Gina and 주영in Changwon for lunch and coffee then went straight home. The total time we spent together was about five hours, including driving. On August 17, I looked after Alexander all day by myself, and when I asked my ex to join me, she said: “too far”. I contacted Gina to see if she wanted to have lunch, but she refused. Afterwards, I contacted주영 who said she was with her friend and did not mind me joining them. At this point, I still only saw her as a colleague.
On August 21, we meet at my ex’s friend’s house to talk about our relationship because she thought her friend would be on her side but at this time it was not the case. We argued a lot. Overwhelmed by anger and frustration, I left her there and went home. She returned home after midnight, so I had to look after the baby and make sure he was asleep.
On August XXX , I had to take my son to private class with me even though my Ex knew that I was going to be busy. Notably, after class I planned to teach sandwich making with my student (Ellie) since I was a chef for over ten years in England. After class, I realized Ellie did not have a proper kitchen and was not fully prepared. So, I invited her to our apartment where I could show her how to make sandwiches properly. She brought her sister with her (Julie). Before going to the apartment, I had to call and beg my ex to allow them to come. I had to undergo such embarrassment, where I had to beg for permission to have my class at our home. While I was in class, Julie and her friend looked after my son and Ellie’s son while we did the lesson. This happened in the same room, and I could see them the entire time. My ex-wife never showed any interest in anything I wanted to do or that did not make her money. She could have stayed home and talked with everyone, but she choose to leave, making an uncomfortable situation.
The marriage starts coming to an end.
After that event, I told her that we could not be together anymore. Not only was she rude to me, but was rude to a client of mine, someone who paid me for my time. The first week of September we argued every day and I told her I wanted a divorce and no longer saw her as my wife. I did not feel like she cared about me, my health, my feelings. She only cared about money. From that day I never put on my wedding ring in public again.
On September 12, 2020, I took Alexander out with me to see my friends from work. We met at 10:30 a.m., had lunch together, then I took him home at 5 pm. I then went out with some work friends for drinks. At this time, I was not wearing my wedding ring. I had borne enough pain and was ready to end the marriage. Mt ex failed to recognize and appreciate the crucial role I played in her life, despite my tireless efforts to show my love to her. She spoke to some friends about us breaking up, after she told me she wanted to keep everything private until it is finished.
My Ex-wife went out for dinner with friends and never let me know what time she would return leaving me alone with our baby. I always told her where I was and when I would return but she never had the decency to do the same in return.
On the September 15th, I asked Gina if she could talk to me in private, where I asked her about divorce in Korea. The next day I spoke with my boss about me getting a divorce.
On September 26, I looked after my son all day by myself taking him out for food with my work colleagues and around Jinhae so he could enjoy the sun. My Ex-wife did not help me get him ready or want to join in any of the day’s activities. I felt a mixture of shame, anger, and frustratipon because my friends all brought their children so the kids could play together. This was a chance for my Ex to get to know the people I worked with and help me communicate better with my friends but she did not come.
October 1s, 2020, I ate dinner alone with my son in the restaurant.
After finishing my class on October 2, 2020, I took Alexander out alone. My Ex was not interested in coming for lunch with us. After lunch, I took a cake to the café so that the owner could try it for her menu. Some of 주영friends were there at that time. I was so tired and frustrated that I fell asleep on the table. That night, I told my ex I wanted to move out. And I could stand living with her anymore.
On October 3rd, my Ex-wife posted a message on Instagram to let people know that things were not good in our relationship. I never attended any counselling with my ex-wife or wanted to attend any with her. I told her that it was too late and that she should have tried it sooner.
The marriage comes to an end.
In between October 3rd and 6th, I sent emails to divorce lawyers. I had made my decision final. I was not looking back; I had borne a lot. On the Chuseok holiday of 2020, my Ex stayed with her parents as we had argued over me moving out. Even though we did not talk, I still looked after my son. He even stayed with me while she slept at her parents’ house.
On October 6, XXXX replied to my request for a divorce lawyer. I asked my ex to give me all my savings so I could pay for the lawyer, but she refused. Even at this stage, she was still stupid enough to keep playing tricks with me. She began hiding documents and stopping me from taking Alexander out alone. I was unable to contract XXX at this time because my ex would not release my money to me. She employed her lawyer and got a contract written up in just two weeks. Interestingly, she told me I had to sign the contract and move out. I was surprised because this is someone who says she did not want a divorce, yet she went ahead and got a lawyer, and drafted the contract fast.
During this time, I pursued a relationship with 주영. I came on to her first, at which point she told me no as I was still married. I informed her that my wife had agreed to get a divorce and we would be starting everything soon.
When we signed the contract, she told me she knew I was seeing 주영, and that she did not care what we did since our relationship was over. Moreover, she told me she knew what I had said to XXX because she read my emails. She added that she had black box evidence and that she could use it to make my life hell and hurt 주영. Such conduct amounts to coercion. I did not sing the contract out of my volition. Instead, her threats influenced me to sign the contract because I wanted to avoid the issues she raised. I wanted the matter to be solved as peacefully as possible.
I contend that she is only using the Blackbox allegation to obtain better financial terms for the divorce. Notably, at the beginning of October, she went to stay at her parent’s house, and the black box only records 24hrs. It follows; there is now way she could say she accidentally saw the black box. Besides, she never told me anything about the Blackbox until the day of the signing of the contract. Her allegations clearly show how much of a serial liar she is. Further, she told me that if I wanted a clean divorce then I should sign the contract and leave. And that she would not sue anyone if I signed the contract. Realising her impunity, I also warned her that if she tried to sue 주영, I would sue her back and not go through with the mediation.
Amidst all the goings on, I avoided revenging how badly she treated me. Notably, in between signing the contract and moving out, I still drove her to and from work except for two days where she told me to find my own way to work. Finally, I moved out on November XXX
After moving out, I was able to find a place to live where I did not need a deposit. Surprisingly, she was still trying to control my money even after I moved out. This shows how much she is senseless and selfish. As a result of her controlling my income, I could not be able to defend myself in court. My ex stated shamelessly that I did not understand everything that was going on, and that I was just poor.
On December 30, still furthering her senselessness, she made me close a saving account, or she would not give me my salary since I was still under her name at the kindergarten. This was the last salary I got from the kindergarten. We had also agreed that we would split our property when we divorced. However, when I left the house, I did not take anything even though we had agreed that I could come back for whatever I needed.
On January 27, 2020, we went to court to complete the divorce, I tried to ask the court officers there about the contract, but they were unable to help me because they could speak Korean. I later found out my ex submitted her case against주영, although we agreed she would not file a case if I signed the contract. I find malice in the fact that my ex had to wait until a day before our final court date to file the case against 주영. It is worth noting that my Ex is a serial liar. She has lied to me a lot. I can never believe a word she says again, and I would ask the court to consider her actions as evidence.
That explains why she started to sue on the day before our court date so I would not find out until after agreeing with the divorce contract. My ex-wife knew that if I sued her, she would lose more money than me. That why she had me sign the agreement; I could not get any help with the divorce due to my lack of ability to speak Korean. She knew this and admitted that I did not fully understand what was going on about our divorce. That is nothing but sheer malice.
It follows; my Ex-wife’s allegations that I pushed her for the divorce, are utterly false. Your Honor, please note that I did ask for the divorce first and I contacted a lawyer. However, since she withheld my money, I could not pay the lawyer. If she truly did not want a divorce, then there is no reason why she contacted a lawyer and pushed the lawyer to make the contracts so fast. She could have just continued to withhold money from me and then fight for our marriage, but this was not the case. It appears she saw an opportunity to make some money and get into the good books with her dad, she has never had a good relationship with him and because of the divorce he would feel sorry to her about the situation.
CONCLUSION
In light of the foregoing, your Honor, I would ask the court to have a big picture of the circumstances that led to the breaking down of our marriage. Notably, your Honor, I pray you look at the actions my ex has taken in regard to the divorce, to wit, with-holding my money, pushing a contract on to me, without me fully understanding what it implies, and lying about the splitting of our property. I would also like to inform you, your Honor, that I some of the statements of facts stated herein are circumstantial evidence. Therefore, the lack of several text messages and/or tangible proof about the divorce is caused by the fact that most of the conversations were held face to face. Accordingly, your Honor, it would be in the interest of justice for you to consider my case as alleged herein.
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