Dear Custody Evaluator,
(Introduction)
My name is Jared Lorenzo, Ellie’s Dad. I just finished my two-year Full-Time MBA degree at UC Berkeley with a focus in Finance, and I’m now moving into full-time post-graduation job. Prior to this, I worked in financial planning and analysis.
On November 7, 2017, Ms. Obi and I exchanged vows in the pursuit of creating a devoted and secure family. Sadly, our marriage faced tremendous difficulties, and on October 13, 2021, we decided to part ways in order to find a more amicable arrangement for our daughter, Ellie Lorenzo. Ellie is now 25 months old and was born on May 16, 2021. We celebrated Ellie’s second birthday last month. EXHIBIT 1
I humbly express my deepest worries in this letter regarding Ellie’s Mother’s request to a relocate with my daughter. I strongly object to any intentions to move my cherished daughter Ellie. It is my unwavering belief that this request runs contrary to Ellie’s best interests, and I hereby outline my reasons behind my strong convictions hereunder.
(Bond between Ellie and Me)
I have given Ellie my undivided attention and created a nurturing environment for her throughout her entire life. Unfortunately, despite numerous opportunities, Ellie’s mother, Ms. Obi, has not shown the same amount of commitment. My relationship with Ellie, which I have valued and fostered since her birth, looks to be constrained as a result of her relocation request. Such efforts, which have lasted over time, are not only pointless but also harmful to the welfare of my daughter.
I firmly believe that I have consistently provided Ellie with attentive care. If the opportunity arises for Ellie to live with me full-time, I wholeheartedly welcome it and will ensure that all her needs are met. I firmly believe that it is in Ellie’s best interest for both biological parents to be fully involved in her life. I’ve worked hard to make it possible for co-parenting in the same city. However, I genuinely believe that Ellie living with me, her father, full-time, would be the best option for her if circumstances change, such as the mother’s wish to move out of the state, or for any other reason.
Ellie was not an accident; she was not an accident. My top objective over the past 10 years, from 2011 to 2021, has been getting ready to have a family and become a parent. I actively participated in a variety of church-related activities, went to classes, had conversations in small groups, and looked for mentorship from senior fathers in the congregation. I spent time with close friends who were fathers outside of church, experiencing directly the difficulties and obligations that come with fatherhood. I was aware that my true life goals were to have a family and become a parent.
My life as a parent has been incredibly joyful because of Ellie. The happiest day of my life continues to be May 16, 2021, the day daughter was born. I changed my sleep routine so that I could be as available as possible for Ellie. I gave myself completely to her care during the first 90 days of her existence, day and night. I have been there for every milestone, from changing diapers to bottle-feeding and singing lullabies to her, and I couldn’t be more pleased EXHIBIT 2.
I started assisting Ellie with developing her fine motor abilities when she was a newborn. Ellie picked up a small plastic baggie next to her on the bed the first time I can recall and waved it around in her hands. She started focusing on objects in the room, and I could see that her vision was gradually improving. From there, I often gave Ellie tiny objects to grasp or handle, like soft toys, eventually advancing to letting her choose avocados at the store. I’ve read parenting manuals that claim this aids with comfort and coordination in infants.
I assisted Ellie in steadily developing her gross motor skills from birth until she was six months old. I would hold one of Ellie’s favorite rattles a little farther away each time to encourage crawling, and Ellie would reach over to get it. Ellie first crawled across the length of her playmat on November 13, 2021, when she was six months old, and I was ecstatic as if she had won the Super Bowl.
I would pull Ellie to a standing position inside her crib and instruct her to move back and forth from one side of the crib to the other in order to help her learn to stand. Ellie stood up for the first time entirely on her own from a crawling position on December 23, 2021, when she was 7 months old. Just two weeks after her first birthday, on May 28, 2022, at Crescent Park in Berkeley, California, Ellie took her first independent steps after months of practice and assistance. I’ll never forget that particular moment. EXHIBIT 3
Ellie has made incredible progress. Around four months of age, her vision became better and her fine motor abilities significantly increased. At six months old, Ellie was successfully gripping and holding objects while tracking the movement of other objects. At six months old, I celebrated her first crawl across the playmat, and at one year old, I celebrated her first steps in Crescent Park. I concentrated on assisting Ellie in developing her balance, strength, and coordination from 12 to 18 months by taking her to playgrounds, parks, and kiddie gyms. I also encouraged her speech development by reading books, going to zoos, farms, and botanical gardens so she could connect with her surroundings and broaden her horizons EXHIBIT 4.
Ellie’s balance, strength, and coordination all improved between the ages of 12 and 18 months thanks to my assistance. We frequently went to Cuesta Park in Mountain View, where I took Ellie 16 times, and we also went to a children’s indoor play area called “Jolly Roger Land” six times. Ellie was able to connect with other toddlers and see their activities in these settings, which aided her learning and development. I also read a ton of books to Ellie to help her develop her speech. Ellie loved naming the flowers and trees at the three times we went to the UC Botanical Garden. Additionally, we made five trips to zoos and farms where Ellie could engage with her surroundings and view little creatures, broadening her horizons.
I think that spending time with Ellie is more important than participating in planned activities. I include her in my daily activities, whether they include running errands, taking walks, or just conversing on the phone. I work hard to make sure Ellie feels loved and involved because she has grown to be a significant part of my life. She comes to me at uncertain moments, and I have given her comfort countless times.
Let me give you some numbers on how much I’ve been involved in Ellie’s life. The data below show how actively involved I have been in Ellie’s life:
- Fall 2020: I attended all of Ellie’s prenatal visits while the couple was still together.
- May 2021 – October 2021: I was present in Ellie’s life every day, providing round-the-clock care during her early months. I took care of all her basic needs, including feeding, bathing, changing diapers, and ensuring her safety.
- November 2021 – May 2022: Even after the separation, I continued to be actively involved in Ellie’s life. I maintained regular visitation schedules and ensured that our time together was filled with love, support, and engaging activities. I prioritized creating a nurturing environment for Ellie to thrive.
- June 2022 – September 2022: During this period, I actively participated in Ellie’s transition to solid foods, introducing her to a variety of nutritious options. I took the time to research and prepare healthy meals for her, promoting her physical and cognitive development through proper nutrition.
- October 2022 – January 2023: As Ellie entered her toddler years, I focused on fostering her social and emotional growth. I arranged playdates with other children her age, enrolled her in parent-child classes, and organized activities that encouraged her to interact and engage with her peers. I took the opportunity to reinforce important values such as sharing, empathy, and kindness.
- February 2023 – Present: Currently, I continue to be actively involved in Ellie’s life, ensuring a stable and nurturing environment for her growth and development. I prioritize her well-being, providing consistent care, support, and love. I actively communicate with her, engage in educational activities, and encourage her curiosity and imagination.
- Between February 2022 and December 2022, I achieved a visitation completion rate of 104%, including 10 additional visits granted to me on non-visitation days.
In order to give Ellie a varied and interesting experience, I have taken her to a total of 42 educational activities, 64 visits to parks and playgrounds, and 15 special events. Being there with Ellie in daily life, however, is more significant than the quantity of activities. Ellie has become an integral part of my life, whether it be for errand running, walks, or just phone calls. I like to say in jest that no matter how costly the toys I offer Ellie are, she will always show more interest in and reach for a bottle of water that I am holding in my hand. EXHIBIT 5
I think the greatest distinction in the care I have always given Ellie from any other individual is that I make an effort to make Ellie feel loved and valued by involving her in whatever is happening. Ellie not only smiles at me when we play, but she also looks for me when she is unsure. When she is terrified or feels unwell, or when she is anxious about achieving a new objective, she seeks for me. I have comforted Ellie countless times for a variety of issues, giving her emotional support and a secure, caring environment.
(Biological Parents’ Involvement)
There is no time limit on spending time with Ellie during visitation periods. Ellie’s mother and I have consistently kept lines of communication open so that I am informed of any changes to Ellie’s routine or demands as well as her health. Ellie’s education, healthcare, and general upbringing have all been decisions in which I have actively engaged. I’ve gone to doctor’s appointments and parent-teacher conferences, and I’ve been there to help whenever needed.
(Fathers involvement)
Along with spending quality time with Ellie, I have also made an environment that is caring and safe for her. I have made the required preparations to childproof my house in order to make sure Ellie’s surroundings are risk-free. Ellie now feels secure because I’ve set rituals that encourage stability and consistency. I am dedicated to provide children a regulated and caring atmosphere since I am aware of how important it is for their growth.
I am also acutely aware of the emotional and psychological requirements of a developing youngster. I actively participate in activities that foster Ellie’s social and emotional growth because I place a high priority on her emotional well-being. I help her in doing so by fostering an environment that is accepting and encouraging of her feelings and emotions. I also engage in playtime activities that pique her interest and foster her creativity while stimulating her cognitive capacities.
(Ellies Life in California)
Ellie has a full life in California, complete with active ties to the neighborhood. With her teachers and classmates, she has established deep bonds that will always be a part of her path. In particular, she has forged a special relationship with Beth, a star Yama Kids yoga instructor, and benefited from the supportive direction of the committed staff and teachers at Gymboree toddler programs in El Cerrito.
Ellie has had the chance to make friends with other toddlers by regularly attending Gymboree toddler sessions, especially at Gymboree El Cerrito. She has gone to these classes ten times since January 2023, strengthening her relationships with her classmates. Ellie has also shared several playdates with Naomi, an 18-month-old child who is the daughter of one of my close friends. Together, they’ve had fifteen fun playdates, which have helped Ellie become more social and content.
Ellie also actively contributes to the supportive atmosphere at Church on the Corner in Albany, California. She participates in toddler Sunday school at this faith-based local church, where she gains priceless experiences that support her spiritual development and all-around growth.
It’s important to note that Ellie and Mayra Gomez, another of my UC Berkeley classmates, have a lovely friendship. I have given Ellie into Mayra’s care three times because she has substantial training and expertise in childcare. Ellie is safe and secure thanks to Mayra’s steadfast assistance and knowledge.
Additionally, Ellie lives in a roomy, kid-proof apartment that is situated in a residential area, giving her a safe and cozy home. Ellie is still in diapers, but I am actively potty training her now, and I’m happy to report that she is making steady progress every day, using the toilet and flushing it 2-3 times. Together, these elements contribute to Ellie’s rich life in California, where she lives in a nurturing setting and is supported by a community that cares about her happiness and growth.
(Mother’s Mental Stability Concerns)
I am deeply concerned about Ms. Obi’s mental health and the potential impact it may have on Ellie’s well-being. Ellie’s mother’s mental health and any potential effects it might have on Ellie’s wellbeing are quite concerning to me. I noticed a startling discrepancy between Ms. Obi’s behavior in private and in public throughout our time as a married couple. In contrast to her lively, endearing, and captivating exterior, she actually had strong violent tendencies and a flat, soulless effect when alone.
According to the video that is attached, which was taken on August 21, 2021, when we were still living together, Ms. Obi physically assaulted me in August of that year. The video shows Chrystal hitting me repeatedly, the first two hits landing in my face as she had Ellie in her arms and I frantically ran for cover behind a locked door. Chrystal began to strike my chest four times around 13:40 in the video after I took possession of Ellie and backed away to prevent additional altercation. The fact that these blows were delivered barely a few inches from our three-month-old daughter’s delicate body highlights the complete contempt for Ellie’s security and well-being.
Since Ellie’s birth, I have observed Ms. Obi’s persistent unwillingness to spend time with our infant daughter, with the exception of nursing her to sleep and cuddling her close to her chest for her own comfort. It’s still not apparent if she’s able to put Ellie’s needs before her own.
In addition, I routinely picked up and left off Ellie at Ms. Obi’s house between April 9, 2022, and June 17, 2023. However, in 92% of these exchanges, Ms. Obi’s live-in nanny did the handing off and receiving of Ellie, with Ms. Obi herself not present. This makes me wonder how much she really cares about and is involved with Ellie.
The home address of our newborn child was also withheld from me by Ms. Obi in October 2021 without any good explanation. She put in place rigorous visiting rules between October 2021 and December 2022, including limitations like “no makeup dates” and “no visits exceeding 8 hours.”
I have further worries about Ms. Obi’s mental stability and how it might affect Ellie’s safety and wellbeing because of the violent attack in August 2021, the concealment of our child’s home address, and the establishment of severe visitation rules. These concerns must be carefully taken into account while making decisions on Ellie’s custody and best interests.
(Controlling Behaviour of Mother)
I must also draw attention to a circumstance that took place on October 13, 2021, when I was away doing classes at UC Berkeley. When I got back home, Ms. Obi had arranged for movers to completely empty our flat and remove almost all of our possessions, including Ellie.
Ms. Obi insisted on only allowing me to meet Ellie on her terms and refused to provide me the child’s home address from October 2021 to February during the ensuing four months.
Furthermore, Ms. Obi only granted me 50.5 hours of the 95 hours of access I asked between November 15, 2021, and January 22, 2022, a startling 46% reduction in the time allotted. My ability to influence Ellie’s life is severely hampered by this domineering conduct.
In addition, Ellie’s repeated occurrences of getting sick or hurt while under her mother’s care severely upset me. Ms. Obi consistently placed the blame on me, claiming that Ellie was wounded when she was with me, rather than disclosing the circumstances surrounding these instances to Ellie’s medical professionals. In spite of abundant evidence to the contrary, Ms. Obi erroneously accused me for Ellie’s limp in the attached video, demonstrating her history of unfounded accusations.
Because they directly affect Ellie’s safety and wellbeing, my worries about Ellie’s mother’s mental stability and her controlling tendencies are very heavy on my heart. These concerns must be taken into account when determining Ellie’s custody and what is in her best interests.
Conclusion
The dynamics of co-parenting are likely to change significantly as a result of Ms. Obi’s relocation request, and it would not be possible to continue with the current shared custody arrangement. Although we think it’s best for Ellie to have both parents involved and to maintain a shared visitation schedule, I have doubts about Ms. Obi’s ability and willingness to do so, as well as her motivations for moving to a new city with Ellie.
Given the situation, having complete legal and physical custody over Ellie would be the next best thing for guaranteeing her stability, wellbeing, and continuous positive growth. With this arrangement, I would be able to give Ellie a stable and nurturing environment, assuring her happiness and general development. I want to stress that I am still fully committed to having a healthy co-parenting relationship. I’m open to considering other options and making concessions that put Ellie’s needs first. But it’s important to recognize the possible consequences of Ms. Obi’s relocation request and the difficult choice it forces Ellie to make by making her choose between her parents.
Above all, I want to protect Ellie’s interests and give her a secure, nurturing atmosphere where she can flourish. I have regularly shown her my commitment to her and my involvement in her life, and I will keep placing a high priority on her happiness and general growth.
We appreciate you taking the time to thoroughly consider the data we have provided. I believe you will choose to put Ellie’s happiness and wellbeing first. To address any issues or give any information that may be required in order to reach a fair and just settlement, I am open to further conversations or meetings.
Sincerely,
Jared Lorenzo
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